And then Stella got her groove back

Well when I say Stella I really mean Kel. And that's me. I got my groove back and it feels so good and I feel so organised and I don't feel like I'm treading water anymore 'Just keep swimming, just keep swimming'.

In general I think I'm turning more into a hippy every day. I'm not talking Woodstock (even though I would have LOVED to have been there). I'm talking Earth Mumma. I'm loving the nature and my whole world is loving it too.

So what has been going on you ask?

Well I was homeless for a while. This might be a slight over exaggeration (hold on, I sound like my mother), I wasn't really homeless I guess I was more roomless but not in a I don't have anywhere to sleep way more in a housesitting, staying in spare rooms, staying in cousins bedroom while he is overseas way. I have loved the time, the experience and the financial freedom but it was time to settle and pull my lovely desktop computer out and actually do some work.

So how did I become homeless you ask (total exaggeration again)? I just couldn't decide. I was looking to buy, I was looking to rent in town but I just couldn't decide. I couldn't decide what budget I wanted, I couldn't decide when to get pre-approval, I couldn't decide how I was going to go about it.
Then I found a house I loved. I wasn't sure about the area, lets be honest in my town some areas are better than others (when I say areas I mean streets). Anyways I loved it. It had a magnificent kitchen and a room I could teach Pilates out of, oh my win, win for me. So when deciding whether I should put an offer in subject to sale or wait for pre approval it sold :(. Big sad face for me, I loved the house the first one I loved so it made me make some decisions.

Decision 1:
Wait. Wait until you decide what you WANT to do. What do I want? I don't even know. Do I want a small mortgage with a sweet little 'do me up'? I don't know but I do like the sound of the small mortgage. Do I want to wait to see if an established home comes on the market with a magnificent kitchen and a Pilates room in my budget? I don't know but I do know if I wait until next financial year, my budget is increased. Do I want to build? I would love to but do I want to wait 12 months for a home? I don't know. I could build an open plan home though with a Pilates area...

Decision 2:
Board. I decided not to rent as 1. There aren't many rentals in town and 2. I don't want a lease because as mentioned earlier, I don't know what I'm doing. So in the meantime I have moved permanently into a friends spare room and my computer is set up in the office with internet, Yay!!! It works well I'm home when he's not, he is home when I'm not we don't get into each others way.

Decision 3:
Get organised. Get your diary organised, get your paperwork organised and get it physically organised so you can find everything. It feels so good and I can handle my workload so much easier (and it's big but thats ok, I work well under pressure).

Decision 4:
Become Earth Mumma. When I say Earth Mumma I don't mean that I live in a commune or that I smoke any form or drug or other smoking substance. I mean eating from the Earth. Eating wholefoods and super foods because they are super (man I'm funny), but seriously eating as clean as you possibly can which is as easy as exchanging this for that. That it all, that is it.
I'm investing in a Thermomix. Have you heard of one? I like to call them the most magical machine in the world. I say investing because when you see the price you will understand but... It will cook my dinner, it will mill my flour for me and for someone who should really be eating a gluten free lifestyle this will make it all the easier, it will mince my meat for me, I love our local butchers as I know that when we buy beef it is so close to fresh that it is virtually still mooing. They buy from the closest beef sales which are just down the road and when they tell me I could have my meat in the fridge for 1.5 weeks and it will still be good, well this gets me excited, but I do want to use a good cut of meat for my mince. You don't really know what cut goes into your pre-minced meat. It will knead dough for me, this is possibly one of the most exciting things for me. Friday home made pizzas, oh my. Finally it will poach eggs and make hollandaise sauce ALL at the same time.
I am also becoming a consultant because let's be honest, I'm already selling them anyway.

So as I head into this next phase I'm excited, I'm happy and I'm GROOVY!!

Here are some shots of what I have been up to, enjoy.

My mum has one of those cameras, BOOM, Pose.

Our 'Christmas' break up at lawn bowls. It was hot!!

Our little superstar Lochie with his bowl. This kid is amazing.

The Dingo

Crazy cousins

Offensive but yes I do like the shot.

Princess who? Look at you with dark hair!!

The shyest children in the world!!

The newest member of the family. You should see home now.

One of the craziest weekends of my life. I'll post about that another day.

Very rare view for me. The ocean from my table.

Visiting the ancestors.

Kel xx

Lyrics are my life

This is a very personal post. Just a warning.

So hi, this is me,as you know I'm Kel and I am unlucky in love. When I say unlucky I mean ridiculously unlucky, like what the?

I'm not even sure why. I personally think that I have a lovely personality. I'm very easy going which I can see why I put up with things I shouldn't. I'm a nice person which I know is the reason complete weirdo's head my way, I have a nice face and I think this is why they like to chat to me. I'm not an ugly person but looks aren't the be all and end all with me, this I know is half my problem. As my mum told me water finds water in my case not so much. Sometimes for the man he tries to find his water and well that just messes with a whole heap of self esteem issues.

Moving on, what I'm wanting to say is that I try to find love. I'm careful with my love. I don't just fall in love, I like to take my time and 'try' to pick well. My problem is that when I do fall I fall hard. I want to see the best in everyone and I want to believe that my spouse is everything I want them to be. It hasn't happened yet but one day, I have faith. If it doesn't happen that's ok too I just hope that I am saved the hurt because when you fall for someone and they aren't the right person, don't feel the same way about you or your personalities just don't mesh it hurts. It hurts bad and it hurts over and over again. Unfortunately for me, I know that hurt. I knew it the whole time I was in that relationship and I still know it now it's over.

I love music and I listen. I really listen and when I get fixated on a song I like to know why. Why am I listening to this non stop? What is it telling me?

Well I found one. This one is beautiful and I think you will agree, it was talking to me.

My song at the moment is Mumford & Sons 'After the Storm'.

'And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With Grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.'

So I have faith that love will not break my heart.

Link

Point & Shoot: Sydney Pilates

I'm very excited to be linking up with Lou's Point & Shoot. I haven't done this forever and what a better weekend?

So Friday just before 5am I left my little farm house and headed to Dubbo to catch a flight to Sydney. I love flying to Sydney because instead of a 6 hour drive, it's a 45 minute flight, time efficient. I headed to Sydney to complete my Pilates course that I had been preparing for for 2 months so lets just say I can add Pilates instructor to my list of qualifications but to be honest I can't wait to start teaching this as I truly believe that it is so important.

So I guess I'll let my pictures say a thousand words.

These images are a combination of iPhone and DSLR.

The photos are all out of whack but I'm using my iPad and the Blogger App so just think of it like Pulp Fiction and try to sort all the images out in chronological order.

I selfied myself. I love Lululemon, it's a fitness brand but I just feel that it is where fitness meets fashion. The clothes are amazing so I checked that out.

Caught a lil sneaky shot of the course, what happens in a Pilates course...

I bought new Glow in the Dark running shoes (kind of love fluro) and had to test them out so I headed out for a 6K run with a beautiful photographic tour walk home.

Finally I was stuck in the airport :( my flight was delayed by nearly 3 hours. From a 7pm flight we boarded around 9.45pm. After a full on weekend, lots of pain from exercises and just pure exhaustion if the plane was delayed again there would've been tears. So I busied myself with some shots around the airport.
I added some final pics of my doing my Pilates. Self-timer is amazing.

I hope you had a great weekend too, what did you get up to?

Kel xx

Can I give you some advice?

Never be afraid to be alone.

A few weeks ago this was me. I wasn't happy in my situation but I was too afraid to be alone. I'm 28 do I really want to start again? Can I be bothered to find somewhere to live? Can I be bothered to move all of my stuff?

Well I couldn't be bothered to tell you the truth and that really is no reason to stay in a situation.

In the end the decision was made for me. I had to start again, I had to find somewhere to live, I had to be bothered to move all of my stuff. And you know what? It wasn't bad at all.
The first 2 days were horrible, a million questions running through my head. I live in a small town, everyone will know.

Two days after that though I felt fine. In fact I felt better than I have in forever. Covered in grief for the past year, I felt good. My last post was written after this incident and that shows you my mood. I thought to myself, 'you know what Kel? After everything that has happened to you in the last year, this really doesn't rate at all.'

So five days later I started telling people, they now knew and no one could believe it but that's ok, they all know now and they have all supported me. One of my friends offered me a place to stay, so I'm now a farm girl, living out of town with an Englishman and an Irishman. Sounds like the start of a joke doesn't it? And you know what? I'm loving life. So once again my advice to you is to never be afraid to be alone, you just never know where it might take you.

I wanted to share a quote I found on Pinterest:

'and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy,
maybe it's you,
on your own,
picking up the pieces and starting over,
freeing yourself up for something better in the future,
maybe the happy ending is just moving on.'

So I have freed myself up for something better in the future and my happy ending is just moving on.

Kel xx.

I wrote this over a week ago and only now am I ready to publish it because yet again I worry too much about others feelings.

Oh my goodness, no photos!!

I'm ready to blog again

To say that this year has been the roughest of my life is a complete understatement.

I haven't been able to blog. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I haven't been able to let you in. Still completely in the grips of grief but for the first time in a year, I'm feeling on top of the world. I cannot believe how good I'm feeling and this isn't one of those 'quietly I'm crying into my pillow' no I really feel on top of the world and I hope that it lasts.

Ok so what did you miss?
What happened that I couldn't tell you about?

My brother passed away. Yes within 6 months I lost my father and my eldest brother. And it hurt. It hurt a lot. With Dad I was very sad but Dad had been sick for a long time so you kinda do a bit of pre grieving if that even makes sense. You know what's going to happen and you cry for months beforehand but with Jay it was sudden.

Jay was 5 years older than me and he loved life in every which way possible, which meant that I grew up with quite a colourful childhood. As much as my parents have always tried to protect and shelter me as much as they could, I saw things others haven't but not as much as some. We lived with it and that was life, we didn't know any different.

He was a typical big brother with both of us (I have a middle brother, I am the baby). He would fight us no end, think running around the house screaming at the top of my lungs as he chased me and Beau and he getting into fisty cuffs over computer games, but if anyone else wanted to fight us, well he would not have it. He was well and truly our black sheep of the family but you had to love him, everyone did.

He left us at the way too young age of 32 but you will never be forgotten Jay. We had our ups and downs but I will always love you.

Our tribute to you.

Forever Young, Jay (Click the link)

In the words of Don McLean, 'This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.'

Miss you, love you,

Kel xx

I went to work

Easter Monday with my love. That's love. Going to work with him on my public holiday so we can spend time together, but he's worth it.

This post was going to be called Cotton Farming 101. Truth be told I don't know too much about Cotton Farming except it is planted not sewn, it is sprayed a lot, they plant pigeon peas not far away for the bugs to eat instead of the cotton, it is worth a lot of money, and on this particular day, we were defoliating. When I say we, I mean he. I just go along for the photos. Enjoy.

Just quietly I also received a new camera lens for my birthday so these were my first shots.

It is starting to snow. 

These 'cotton balls' are just like what you would buy except there is a seed in the middle. 

It's spraying time.

Concentrating.

Love this shot.

In full flight. The 'cockpit' reminds me of a plane. 

If you know Gol, you'll know there will be a watch.

Spraying.

Well for all those potential Cotton farmers out there, that's how you do it. He, he.

Talk soon,

Kel

I guess it's about time

I did a new blog post.

Easter Monday, I went to work with my love. I took some pictures.

They are coming soon.










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