Lyrics are my life

This is a very personal post. Just a warning.

So hi, this is me,as you know I'm Kel and I am unlucky in love. When I say unlucky I mean ridiculously unlucky, like what the?

I'm not even sure why. I personally think that I have a lovely personality. I'm very easy going which I can see why I put up with things I shouldn't. I'm a nice person which I know is the reason complete weirdo's head my way, I have a nice face and I think this is why they like to chat to me. I'm not an ugly person but looks aren't the be all and end all with me, this I know is half my problem. As my mum told me water finds water in my case not so much. Sometimes for the man he tries to find his water and well that just messes with a whole heap of self esteem issues.

Moving on, what I'm wanting to say is that I try to find love. I'm careful with my love. I don't just fall in love, I like to take my time and 'try' to pick well. My problem is that when I do fall I fall hard. I want to see the best in everyone and I want to believe that my spouse is everything I want them to be. It hasn't happened yet but one day, I have faith. If it doesn't happen that's ok too I just hope that I am saved the hurt because when you fall for someone and they aren't the right person, don't feel the same way about you or your personalities just don't mesh it hurts. It hurts bad and it hurts over and over again. Unfortunately for me, I know that hurt. I knew it the whole time I was in that relationship and I still know it now it's over.

I love music and I listen. I really listen and when I get fixated on a song I like to know why. Why am I listening to this non stop? What is it telling me?

Well I found one. This one is beautiful and I think you will agree, it was talking to me.

My song at the moment is Mumford & Sons 'After the Storm'.

'And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With Grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.'

So I have faith that love will not break my heart.

Link

Point & Shoot: Sydney Pilates

I'm very excited to be linking up with Lou's Point & Shoot. I haven't done this forever and what a better weekend?

So Friday just before 5am I left my little farm house and headed to Dubbo to catch a flight to Sydney. I love flying to Sydney because instead of a 6 hour drive, it's a 45 minute flight, time efficient. I headed to Sydney to complete my Pilates course that I had been preparing for for 2 months so lets just say I can add Pilates instructor to my list of qualifications but to be honest I can't wait to start teaching this as I truly believe that it is so important.

So I guess I'll let my pictures say a thousand words.

These images are a combination of iPhone and DSLR.

The photos are all out of whack but I'm using my iPad and the Blogger App so just think of it like Pulp Fiction and try to sort all the images out in chronological order.

I selfied myself. I love Lululemon, it's a fitness brand but I just feel that it is where fitness meets fashion. The clothes are amazing so I checked that out.

Caught a lil sneaky shot of the course, what happens in a Pilates course...

I bought new Glow in the Dark running shoes (kind of love fluro) and had to test them out so I headed out for a 6K run with a beautiful photographic tour walk home.

Finally I was stuck in the airport :( my flight was delayed by nearly 3 hours. From a 7pm flight we boarded around 9.45pm. After a full on weekend, lots of pain from exercises and just pure exhaustion if the plane was delayed again there would've been tears. So I busied myself with some shots around the airport.
I added some final pics of my doing my Pilates. Self-timer is amazing.

I hope you had a great weekend too, what did you get up to?

Kel xx

Can I give you some advice?

Never be afraid to be alone.

A few weeks ago this was me. I wasn't happy in my situation but I was too afraid to be alone. I'm 28 do I really want to start again? Can I be bothered to find somewhere to live? Can I be bothered to move all of my stuff?

Well I couldn't be bothered to tell you the truth and that really is no reason to stay in a situation.

In the end the decision was made for me. I had to start again, I had to find somewhere to live, I had to be bothered to move all of my stuff. And you know what? It wasn't bad at all.
The first 2 days were horrible, a million questions running through my head. I live in a small town, everyone will know.

Two days after that though I felt fine. In fact I felt better than I have in forever. Covered in grief for the past year, I felt good. My last post was written after this incident and that shows you my mood. I thought to myself, 'you know what Kel? After everything that has happened to you in the last year, this really doesn't rate at all.'

So five days later I started telling people, they now knew and no one could believe it but that's ok, they all know now and they have all supported me. One of my friends offered me a place to stay, so I'm now a farm girl, living out of town with an Englishman and an Irishman. Sounds like the start of a joke doesn't it? And you know what? I'm loving life. So once again my advice to you is to never be afraid to be alone, you just never know where it might take you.

I wanted to share a quote I found on Pinterest:

'and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy,
maybe it's you,
on your own,
picking up the pieces and starting over,
freeing yourself up for something better in the future,
maybe the happy ending is just moving on.'

So I have freed myself up for something better in the future and my happy ending is just moving on.

Kel xx.

I wrote this over a week ago and only now am I ready to publish it because yet again I worry too much about others feelings.

Oh my goodness, no photos!!

I'm ready to blog again

To say that this year has been the roughest of my life is a complete understatement.

I haven't been able to blog. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I haven't been able to let you in. Still completely in the grips of grief but for the first time in a year, I'm feeling on top of the world. I cannot believe how good I'm feeling and this isn't one of those 'quietly I'm crying into my pillow' no I really feel on top of the world and I hope that it lasts.

Ok so what did you miss?
What happened that I couldn't tell you about?

My brother passed away. Yes within 6 months I lost my father and my eldest brother. And it hurt. It hurt a lot. With Dad I was very sad but Dad had been sick for a long time so you kinda do a bit of pre grieving if that even makes sense. You know what's going to happen and you cry for months beforehand but with Jay it was sudden.

Jay was 5 years older than me and he loved life in every which way possible, which meant that I grew up with quite a colourful childhood. As much as my parents have always tried to protect and shelter me as much as they could, I saw things others haven't but not as much as some. We lived with it and that was life, we didn't know any different.

He was a typical big brother with both of us (I have a middle brother, I am the baby). He would fight us no end, think running around the house screaming at the top of my lungs as he chased me and Beau and he getting into fisty cuffs over computer games, but if anyone else wanted to fight us, well he would not have it. He was well and truly our black sheep of the family but you had to love him, everyone did.

He left us at the way too young age of 32 but you will never be forgotten Jay. We had our ups and downs but I will always love you.

Our tribute to you.

Forever Young, Jay (Click the link)

In the words of Don McLean, 'This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.'

Miss you, love you,

Kel xx

I went to work

Easter Monday with my love. That's love. Going to work with him on my public holiday so we can spend time together, but he's worth it.

This post was going to be called Cotton Farming 101. Truth be told I don't know too much about Cotton Farming except it is planted not sewn, it is sprayed a lot, they plant pigeon peas not far away for the bugs to eat instead of the cotton, it is worth a lot of money, and on this particular day, we were defoliating. When I say we, I mean he. I just go along for the photos. Enjoy.

Just quietly I also received a new camera lens for my birthday so these were my first shots.

It is starting to snow. 

These 'cotton balls' are just like what you would buy except there is a seed in the middle. 

It's spraying time.

Concentrating.

Love this shot.

In full flight. The 'cockpit' reminds me of a plane. 

If you know Gol, you'll know there will be a watch.

Spraying.

Well for all those potential Cotton farmers out there, that's how you do it. He, he.

Talk soon,

Kel

I guess it's about time

I did a new blog post.

Easter Monday, I went to work with my love. I took some pictures.

They are coming soon.










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Twenty Eight

That's right on Good Friday I turned 28.

The night before I had some secret squirrel work which I can't tell you about but it involved my lovely mummy who I love oh so much.

Being the baby of the family I always have been spoilt and this birthday was no different. I didn't actually take many shots to every ones surprise but I did have an early birthday present that was delivered, and you wouldn't believe it but the bag just burst open so I had to have a little peek. Thankfully my lovely farmer gave it to me after the bag burst but really I already knew what it was.

Isn't it so pretty?

So after being spoilt by my mummy, bro, farmer and cuzzies I felt like a pretty special thing.

We headed out to the dam for a few nights of camping, skiing, fishing and plenty of drinking. Not so much me, I'm a light weight. It was just great.

Hope you all had a Good Friday, remembered what it was really about, had some choccies and thought of me turning old.

How did you spend your Good Friday?

Kel xoxo.

Accidental Country Girl...

Or Accidental Farm Girl???

As you know I'm a townie. Much like the lovely Bron from Maxabella loves writes, we are country folk but we live on the main street and have all of the conveniences close to hand.
Farming on the other hand is a bit of a different story. My farmer is obviously a farmer and has shown me all of these roads that head out of town and not in the direction of Dubbo, hold on, there are more roads?? His parents still live on their family farm which I do enjoy heading out to most weekends. I get lost when we are heading to other friends houses and ask along the way, 'Who lives there?' 'What about there?' I know, I'm annoying (sorry I was born that way). The best thing about a country town? Everybody knows everything so I get my answers and my curiosity is fed. Most weekends we do head out to farms near us to visit our friends. Last weekend we headed to Ben and Katie's farm. I actually know where this is, it's on the Peak Hill road (another thing I love is that no one knows the street names, the streets head to a town and that is what the road is referred to) the farmer and I met at Tomingley Races which isn't far from the farm.

Out we went to the farm for some Sunday afternoon drinks. The horses needed to be fed, the race horse is in foul (for us city people that means its pregnant so needs special feed), Katie asked, have you driven a 4 wheeler before? Well actually Katie I have, when Dad had his farm (3 acres I'm sure is a farm, he had cows at one stage, horses at another and chickens) my uncle had a 4 wheeler for his kids to burn around in and yes I used to burn around too, so I hopped on the 4 wheeler and headed out to the back paddock with my farm hand Katie and feed. Luckily I didn't forget my camera.

I love now how my friends from the country know that I blog or even read it so when I do things like visit the farm they say to me, quick grab your camera, this will be great for your blog, or even I'm going to take a shot of you to put on your blog. Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually take pictures for my blog (as much as I love you guys too) I take pictures because I love taking pictures, but I like to think that these country friends enjoy the opportunity to show off their lifestyle to us city slickers. They have seen through my fresh city eyes and realise now that we don't know what they get up to, and see how exciting and fun it all is through me. I hope you are enjoying too because I originally did this blog for my city friends to see my adventures.

So after my photo shoot with the horses and lambies (how cute are they), Katie turned the camera on me (she is handy with one) and made me climb up on that hay bale but say hello to my new header (on the page for the country friends, headers remove the wheat grain during harvest for the city friends)). Then even with my morbid fear of birds they made me hold a chicken. Quite surprised their feet were so soft but the smile is fake and the real face is the last shot. Do you like the strategically placed Country Style? Love that mag.

Check this out, it is super cute. Just excuse the wind but you've gotta hear it.

Thanks for a great day out guys and I hope you enjoy the shots.

Love the Accidental Country Girl xxx.